36 weeks down, 4 to go

October 16, 2015

So this post was going to just be a little Instagram update with how many days we have left (26) until a new human comes to live with us, but when it got to two paragraphs long, I decided it would be better to just make it into a long rambly blog post instead.

I was looking ahead on my calendar to schedule my last 4 (FOUR!) ob appointments when it just hit me that, holy crap we are going to have a BABY here in less than a month (in a perfect world where due dates were guaranteed at least. HA).

This entire year, and part of last year, was spent prepping for and being pregnant. It’s been well over a year since the IVF process started (I had my first consult at our clinic in September 2014 to get the ball rolling) yet it feels like the weeks of my pregnancy FLEW by. Like, oh here comes 34 weeks….and now we are immediately working towards 35 and that’s only like, in a few days and now it’s 36 weeks, and in a few days I’ll be 37 weeks. And now at this point he can come at anytime and be fine…might possibly need some NICU time but he will be fine. I was worrying my entire pregnancy about him coming too soon (I know, I know, my punishment for this will probably be a very late baby and I’ll have to be induced. Watch.), and now that I’m nearly to term (which to me is 37 weeks), I don’t have to be scared anymore. If he wants to come he can. I can just let it happen and call my midwife and doula to tell them what’s happening (of course hoping it’s not false labor). And that relief makes me feel unbelievably amazing and calm and at ease. I have been stupidly tense about everything my entire pregnancy for fear of something going wrong because I know exactly what we have to go through again for another chance. But now I can let it happen and be ok with it and that feels really damn good.

But gees, how can a year fly by so fast?

And right now, I’m really excited for the holidays and had another realization that we can buy Christmas gifts for our baby this year. Not like he’ll have the slightest idea what the heck is going on, but the fact that I can fill a Christmas stocking for him makes me think, “Wait, whaaaaat?! I’m gonna be a mom!”

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