Man I’m so stuck in a blogging rut! I have the urge to want to write up something great and interactive but I have nothing. It’s like Silent Bob when he finally gets the chance to say something and he goes “…………I got nothing.”
I also want to so badly redo the design here too but have no time or desire to play the whole trial and error thing because I’m not a designer and don’t know code especially for WordPress. So I’m just kinda unhappy and uninspired with blogging for the moment.
But as for things going on here, we’ve been enjoying the house. We STILL have boxes of SHIT lying in a room with the door shut because I can’t stomach the thought of going through another box of stuff I have no idea what to do with but don’t want to throw away. But it better get done soon because we are having our house warming party over labor day weekend.
The dogs have a new horrible habit of rolling in stinky stuff outside. Yesterday morning before work Mabel came in from the backyard looking all wet and I stupidly assumed it was from rolling in the rain on the grass but it turned out to be some wretched rancid shit of some sort. I gagged at her stench and hosed her down outside. She didn’t like that too much. Then I put her in the tub and used shampoo but all day at work I swear I smelled it on me but it was probably just in my nose hairs….or so I kept telling myself.
And on a different note, I’ve been having babies on the brain lately and my sister told me to watch The Business of Being Born and I couldn’t turn away! It was so eye opening about the truth on hospital births and about how misinformed women are on their options. I highly recommend seeing it. It’s amazing how much fear is put into women’s heads about delivering naturally and how most obstetricians, for whatever reason, push for csections even if the mother is totally able to have the baby normally given the time to do so. That’s a fear of mine, is a doctor that doesn’t put me in their best interest. They just want to get out of there to go to their golf game or something. I thought when the time came to be a mom, that I’d want to go in and get an epidural right away and proceed to have the baby normally but its pretty much a super high chance that you will have a csection if you get an epidural because it slows things down so they give you pitocin to speed things up, which makes your contractions hurt more so you get more pain meds, and the baby’s heart rate drops so you need an emergency csection and its like a domino effect.
And when I really think about it, just about everything that happens to you in the hospital, are things that I don’t want to have happen to me. For instance, just being in a hospital puts me on edge. I don’t trust doctors at all. I don’t want to be constantly monitored. I don’t want to be checked numerous times by numerous peoples fingers. I don’t want to lie on my back and not be able to move. I don’t want to be confined to a bed. I don’t want an episiotomy. I don’t want to be in a bright busy room. And I don’t want to be exposed to tons of people. Just thinking of having NO control over my own body during one of the most life changing experiences makes me sick with anxiety. So a free standing birth center sounds like the something that would be a good fit for me whenever the time comes. I say this now, but to me, the fear of the pain from a natural birth is less than the fear of having no control over my own body, being cut open, and having no one respect my wishes or advocate for me.
And just a disclaimer, that I don’t judge anyone who’s had a csection at all. It’s just not something I want for myself because of my fears. But I understand emergencies arrise so I could very well end up having one anyways. Who knows.
Boy, I didn’t intend for this post to be about that, but see what I mean? There’s nothing going on right now so I’m totally uninspired so I just watch Netflix in my free time. I don’t even have an instagram pic to post.