Dogs are my heart

June 19, 2013

I think aside from obviously horrible things like rape, murder, natural disasters, cancer, etc. having to put a pet to sleep is probably one of the worst things to have to do in your life ever.

When we took Mabel into the vet for her tummy rash Tuesday (she is doing fine btw), we heard a boy around 12 years old sobbing through the door saying “I can’t watch” and we instantly knew what was happening. As we were paying up front, we saw the boy waiting alone on a bench and his eyes red were red and swollen and I was biting my lip to just hold it together till I got to the car. I wish so bad I could have hugged him and told him it will get better but I didn’t wanna freak him out. Then as we were leaving we saw his two sisters and dad come out of the office with the same red swollen eyes and I completely lost it for the whole ride home.

This experience instantly took me back to when our pug Cyrus was put to sleep about 3 years ago and how devastated we were at leaving the vet’s office without our dog. We went in with him, and we left without him. And we weren’t even expecting it. I just remember being so glad I kissed him goodbye before we let the tech take him to the back. I will probably always go there in my mind when I know someone is putting their dog to sleep. It completely rips open that scab that time has healed. He was our first baby.

Knowing that we will have to go through this at least two more times in our lives makes me so incredibly sad and sick with dread because I know exactly how rotten it feels to have to make such a hard decision. I don’t want to live with this sadness in my heart but I know it’s inevitable (granted no horrible accidents happen that take them away from us that way) and we’ll have to go through it again one day. But anyone who has a dog knows that they are worth it. All the happiness and love they bring while they are in our lives is worth the pain of saying goodbye. Because without them, you would have never experienced that love at all and would have no idea what you missed.

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