Things I hate about football

October 9, 2013

Disclosure: This is meant to be funny and not to offend anyone who actually likes football. Word.

I love Fall but the one thing I hate about it, besides the impending doom of winter’s snowfall, is that football season starts. I’ll be the first to admit that I freaking hate football. I’ve never liked sports growing up. I was a ballerina and my dad never watched sports so I just never got into it. But Brian is a huge football fan so I kinda have to deal with it. Typically, on days when football is on, I crochet my face off and try to keep my mouth shut because all I do is laugh at the group of grown men throwing themselves on top of each other and smacking each others butts. But I can’t help but laugh at the silly sexual innuendos in the terminology. Which brings me to my first item on my list.

1. I hate how many football terms can sound so perverted, which is actually pretty funny but it makes me wonder why these guys are considered to be so masculine when they are saying words like these:
-For example, sack, go deep, end zone, wide receiver, rear tackle, and tight end (which is my personal favorite).

2. I hate how frustrating the start-stop of the whole game seems.
-For example, there’s this loooong ass set up and preparation for a play and then 2 seconds later its over with a heap of men on top of each other. Then it starts all over again.

3. I hate the smugness of some females who like football.
-For example, girls who basically lay it on thick about how much they like football because its such a rare occurrence that a girl likes football. Yep, I get it, someone who all the dudes want to hang out with and can relate to.

4. I hate all the fantasy football talk.
-For example, it’s everywhere.

5. I hate how the players can be criminals, and still get to play…and have fans.
-For example, Michael Vick.

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