1. She was so mean to me but now she looks like a pretty nice person.
2. Oh look, they got a dog. First comes dogs, then comes kids.
3. Why don’t they have kids yet? Don’t they know how hard it is to get pregnant after 30?
4. Why did they have 4 kids?
5. Damn, he/she really bulked up.
6. Damn, he/she really lost a lot of weight.
7. Ugh, ultrasound pics as their profile pic. That will never be me.
8. They ended up getting married? They weren’t even dating in high school. Cool.
9. Why are they still living in our hometown?
10. What ever brought them to live in Australia/England/Africa?
11. I always knew he/she was smart.
12. Ah man, their account is friends only. Boo.
13. Why in the hell doesn’t this person even have a Facebook account? What’s wrong with them?
14. I always knew they’d be a musician/a teacher/a chef/etc.
15. I remember when she was the “new girl” and how quickly she became popular.
16. I remember I almost went to the prom with that guy.
17. I remember people used to pick on this poor kid. I wonder how that changed them.
18. Gees, do they ever update their profile pic? It’s the same since the last time I stalked them.
19. Why am I even doing this? I don’t even like these people.
20. Now I know why I always thought [insert actor’s name here] looked familiar to me!