….you lock yourself inside your house and blast the AC and all the fans and all the Netflix! Haha just kidding…sorta.
So let’s see, this week:
I called the non-emergency police line regarding an aggressive solicitor that wouldn’t take no for an answer. Since the awful hailstorm a month ago, these roofing companies have been out in full force harassing everyone in the neighborhood. Some were even driving around DURING the hailstorm, the vultures. I put our tension dog gate at the top of the patio stairs to physically bar them from knocking on my door because I know they’d still ignore the TWO signs I have hanging on the door that basically say get lost, therefore fucking up the overall peace I have established in my home. So far, it’s been very effective and I highly recommend it.
Anyway, this guy saw Brian outside loading his bicycle on the back of his car last weekend and he came up to him trying to sell his pitch, and Brian kept saying no but he wouldn’t leave. So Brian finally just lied to him that we already had our roof looked at to get the guy to go away, but he wouldn’t take no for an answer. I was on the front porch the entire time reading the paper hearing this, Lachlan was napping, and I stood up and loudly yelled GET OFF OUR PROPERTY GET OFF OUR PROPERTY GET OFF OUR PROPERTY. He finally walked across the street to bother the next person, but kept looking back at me and smiling and waving at me all while I stood out there barefoot in my pajamas with my arms crossed over my bra-less chest staring daggers into his pathetic face, memorizing what he looked like. I called the police and reported him because I honestly felt threatened. And while Brian was gone on his bike ride, I may have kept our sharpest butcher knife near me the entire time and let Monty sit perched on the top of our chair with full view out the window to alert me to strangers. I’ve become even more outwardly aggressive towards these people, especially since having Lachlan, because they completely disrespect our no soliciting signs and also because slimy ones like this guy make me feel unsafe in my own home.
A few days later I was sitting outside reading on the front porch with both dogs and the gate up, and yet another roofer guy or insurance guy walked onto our property to take a photo of our neighbors roof. Monty scared the shit out of him with his loud as balls bark and I said, good boy. The guy apologized and left. I’m starting to like Monty’s scary aggressive alert barking more and more. He really sounds like a German Shepard.
Also, my anxiety has been activated lately. I say activated, because for a very long time, even before Lachlan was born, I was doing so good with managing my anxiety and the physical symptoms that come with it. I could make plans and go out without issue (ie: I didn’t have any dry heaving fits, or stomach aches for stupid reasons). Until recently I had no idea why, but upon writing and editing this post a few times, now I know why: I think it has something to do with 3 separate things: the summer heat, our neighbors dogs, and school’s out so it’s crowded EVERYWHERE.
1. The heat, because it makes me feel physically ill and weak, like right in the pit of my stomach I feel this weakness and want to urgently lie down and go to sleep. That’s the only way I can explain the feeling. And the majority of my anxiety attacks stem from the way my body feels. I’m going to my doctor to recheck my thyroid next week to make sure it’s not that that’s causing physical issues. I kinda stopped all meds and vitamins I was taking since I stopped pumping because I was, and still am, sick to death of taking pills every day. Stupid I know.
2. The dogs, because their owners installed a dog door so they have the freewill to go outside on their own whenever they want to bark. It’s really been affecting me lately as I’m constantly anticipating it, waiting for it to happen when I’m outside trying to enjoy a book during Lach’s nap time or lying in bed at night enjoying the quiet. And it’s not so much the noise that triggers the anxiety, but more so the knowing that the owners must KNOW their dogs are barking but choose to do nothing about it and that makes me so angry.
Brian wrote an anonymous note telling them to address the issue or we’ll be contacting the police. But I’ve also already mailed 2 anonymous letters before telling them of the issue. And another time I had the police drop off a dog barking education pamphlet (anonymous on our behalf) at their house, yet nothing changed. The only way we can actually make something happen is by filing a formal complaint that requires our names and address to be shown on the report. And I’m terrified of retaliation. That’s the only reason we haven’t filed yet.
So we are hoping this last letter will make things better. This is exactly the one reason why I wanted to live in the mountains, and here we are with the one house in the entire neighborhood that is directly behind our house that leaves their dogs out to bark, making their dogs comfort more important than their neighbors quality of life. Why is this shit always drawn to me? And how has no one else done anything about them already? I can’t be the only one bothered by this.
So far, almost a week since posting the letter on their door, I have noticed a change in the amount of barking, but I still see the dogs outside alone. I don’t know if it’s a coincidence that the dogs seem to be a bit quieter and bark for shorter periods of time, or if the owners actually care and are doing something. But I certainly don’t see anything different. I can only hope it will last.
3. And the crowded places, because school’s out and people are everywhere. I used to like going food shopping and meeting up with my one mom friend for walks, or going to the library during the week specifically because it was a calm time as everyone was in school or work. And now it’s no different than the weekends. In fact, it’s complete fucking mayhem, long lines at the three understaffed cash registers that are open, nowhere to park at any lunch facility, drive through lines forget it, no parking at the library because everyone and their third cousins are playing on the splash pads by the library. It makes me feel sick.
And finally, and on a completely unrelated note, I’m binge watching Catfish. Thanks Erin!
I realize this post makes me sound nuts, but all this shit; the heat, the dogs, the solicitors knocking, the crowds, the stomach aches, it really sucks and when it all happens at once, it’s too much for me. I can’t help that I prefer quiet over noise, peace instead of chaos, simplicity instead of complications. And I especially expect that inside my own home so when outside forces intrude on the one space that is MINE in the entire world, I get defensive. I feel like we just survived the winter, and here I am already anticipating the arrival of Fall because it means people will go away back to school and back inside their homes. But also, because Fall is superior and the clothes are my fave.